How to ask for cash instead of wedding gifts, politely (with wording you can use)
The short answer
Ask once, warmly, and keep it optional: say you'd love guests to be there, that a cash gift would help you start your life together, and give one easy way to send it. A Spray page handles that part, with cash gifts that come with suggested amounts and a note, wishlist funds for specific plans, and the page's own account number so every transfer arrives with a name.
- Lead with the invitation; mention gifts once, near the end.
- Say what the money is for. A plan is easier to give to than an account number.
- Suggested amounts help people decide, but anyone can type their own.
- Family abroad can pay by card in the currencies you turn on.
Why couples ask for cash, and why it's fine
Research backs this up. In five US experiments, one of them on real wedding-registry gifts, people appreciated gifts they had asked for more than surprises, and appreciated money more than any item they had requested. Givers expected the opposite.1
83.9%
In a US study of 246 non-cash gifts, recipients valued them at 83.9% of what the givers paid, on average. Cash doesn't lose value that way.2
Many couples already have a home full of things, live somewhere small, or are moving soon after the wedding. Others are saving for rent or a car. Cash lets guests give towards what you actually need, and giving money is already part of a Nigerian wedding. Asking for cash instead of presents is common. What matters is how you ask.
- Ask once. Don't repeat it in every reminder.
- Keep it warm and short.
- Never make it a condition of coming.
Wording you can use
Change these to sound like you. Put them at the end of your invitation or WhatsApp message, after the date and venue.
| When | Example |
|---|---|
| Simple | ‘Your presence is our gift. If you'd like to give something, a cash gift towards our new home would mean a lot. Everything is on our page: [your link].’ |
| For a plan | ‘We're saving for our first home together. If you'd like to bless us, you can chip in on our page: [your link].’ |
| For guests far away | ‘We know not everyone can be there. If you'd like to send a gift, our page takes transfers, and cards from abroad: [your link].’ |
| From the parents | ‘Thank you for celebrating with our family. For anyone who has asked about gifts, the couple's page is here: [your link].’ |
Set up cash gifts on Spray
Create your wedding page
Choose Wedding, add your names, the date and venue, and pick your link.
Turn on cash gifts
Add a few suggested amounts. Guests see them smallest first, or type any amount instead, with a note to you.
Add a wishlist for plans
If the cash is for something specific, like the honeymoon or rent, add it as a wishlist fund. Guests chip in any amount, or cover the rest.
Choose where guests land
Most couples lead with Aso Ebi and keep cash gifts folded underneath. If cash gifts are the main thing, lead with Cash gift instead.
Decide who covers the fee
There's a small fee: ₦100 + 1.5% per payment, never more than ₦2,000. By default you cover it on cash gifts, so guests give exactly the amount they choose. You can switch it so guests cover it.
Turn on other currencies
In Settings, choose the currencies guests can pick: pounds, dollars, euros or Canadian dollars. Money always reaches you in naira.
Verify and share
Confirm who you are and turn on payments. Your page gets its own account number. Share the link with your wording.
How guests send their gift
- By transfer to your page's account number from any Nigerian banking app. It arrives with the sender's name, so you know who gave.
- By card, in naira or any currency you've turned on.
- With a note and, if they like, a short video or photo for your montage film.
- Later: Remind me lets them pick when, like after payday or a week before the wedding.
If anyone hands you cash or sends money to your personal account, log it on your dashboard so your thank-you list is complete.
Questions
- Is it rude to ask for money instead of gifts in Nigeria?
- Not if you ask kindly and once. Cash gifts are a normal part of Nigerian weddings. Keep it optional and thank everyone, whatever they gave.
- Should I put my account number on the invitation?
- You can share your page's account number, and Spray matches each transfer to a guest. A link to your page is friendlier, because it gives guests the choice of transfer, card or a wishlist item.
- Will other guests see how much people gave?
- Your dashboard shows every gift with its name and amount. On the page, you choose whether guests see who has given and how much items have raised.
Sources
- Gino and Flynn, Journal of Experimental Social Psychology, 2011. Give them what they want: The benefits of explicitness in gift exchange
- Waldfogel, American Economic Review, 1993. The Deadweight Loss of Christmas